The Secret

The solution we crave is surrender. Gary Zukov

It’s no secret that life has many ups and downs. I’m sure every person out there has had their share of difficult times as well as happy moments. My life is no different: highs, lows; good and bad. It’s life and I dealt with everything the way I was taught. But through these situations, happy or full of sorrow, I lived always wishing for something else.

I can’t say that I was stuck, but I can say that I felt stuck: job, family, friends,,, All of these things made me always second guess myself. It became a matter of fact that I was always seeking. To this day, I do not know precisely what it was.

Looking back, I can see that my life was just fine. My surroundings were what they were and I could change them at any given moment. And in fact, I did, a lot.

But moving from place to place doesn’t change a situation; it just changes the address. So, I’d be right back feeling stuck and looking for something else.

I Moved Again

After 10 years of marriage, I walked away with my two young daughters and started again. Once the new feelings and excitement subsided, I was back again, searching… I knew I had made the right choice, but the other stuff, most of it stayed the same. Yet, as time went on, one thing stood out: I was the only parent now and my finances were better than they had ever been! So it seemed.

I wasn’t earning more. Actually, my pay was very low and of course, there wasn’t a second paycheck. Still, I managed to buy a little cottage in the Yonkers-Hastings border, drove a brand new car every couple of years, dressed my girls with brand name clothing, and ate out far more often than what was healthy.

On one occasion, I became ill and had to go on an unpaid, leave of absence. I was out over seven months! Not once, not once were my girls lacking in anything. Clothing, food, recreation, all was the same as it had been before I went on leave. I couldn’t understand it. And, this is when I started making jewelry. This hobby is expensive! And, I had money to spend on tools and materials! Hmmmm…

My friends saw someone they didn’t recognize when they saw me: So, what’s the secret?

Tell me how you do it?

Are you in love?

I didn’t get it! Everything changed and I didn’t understand why. It wasn’t that I had no problems. I did, many! My girls were teens and they were giving me a run for my money! Work, well, work was work. And, winding up in the hospital was not anything to cheer about!

Was there a secret and I wasn’t aware? Was I doing anything different?

Is It a Secret?

It took several years to figure it out. Boy, was I puzzled… All my life with highs and lows, good and bad situations, losses,,, and it was quite simple. Maybe not a secret, but certainly something no one bothered to tell me.

The mind is an incredible thing! So much goes on in there that it can sometimes overwhelm even the most connected person. It can zoom 100 miles a minute, and everything is together in one, big jumble! There is no discerning one thing from another. No focus!

It can go the other way where it just decides to stop, and nothing, nothing happens. No figuring the simplest calculation. No merrily rolling along home; turn right, no turn left! Nothing!

Because of these tricks, the mind can be a confusing place and it requires maintenance to make it an easier place to navigate. Now, don’t forget, this is my experience and I do not have any scientific knowledge to back this up. I just know, for me. And, all this may be second nature for you, certainly not a secret!

Secret Revealed

It all came down to this. Well, a couple of things. First, my Faith came in very handy when I finally accepted that what is going to be, will be. PERIOD I totally believe this and came to the realization that sometimes I get in my own way. I finally let go off of the wheel and let my Higher Power do the steering!

I have no control over the outcome of many things. Worrying and wondering does not make things happen. Worrying and wondering simply exhaust and create anxiety making the issue worse.

Secondly, positivity. I learned always to go to the cup half-full mentality instead of always seeking out what the worst scenario could be. Again, creating these imaginary situations just bring more anxiety and fear. That was my go-to response: What if…? I had to stop myself every time I went there. Sometimes, I would even yell at myself: Stop!

Thirdly, I somehow managed to always see what I wanted the outcome to be. I gave things my all and then, let them go. I pictured the best scenario possible and then left it with a positive, happy feeling.

My Secret

It took training and constant reminders to myself! Coming to these realizations so late in life made it more difficult because I was already trained to worry and question. While on my leave of absence, it became second nature and things, good and bad were resolved according to how they should have. That must have been what people saw in me! I remember once responding with, No stress!

If I worked tirelessly on something and it didn’t pan out, of course there was disappointment. But, what there wasn’t was anger and frustration and anxiety and depression.

I still need reminders and I still catch myself and have to snap out of it, but my Faith has shown me that what will be, will be. We have to be proactive and work for what we wish for, but at the end of the day, you have to let it go. Maybe it’s just not meant to be!

Setting intentions has also helped me achieve this way of thinking, this secret. It focuses my mind.

I have now been living in my home since 2002. I go on adventures! I no longer feel stuck because I know I’m living the life I was meant to live.

I am no longer seeking for something else. Or, you could say that what I was seeking was Peace and Tranquility. I live a life full of contentment! I enjoy the highs and accept the lows. After all, you have to experience one to see the other!

This has brought me a bunch of confidence that no matter what the circumstance, it will all be alright! I will be alright!

So, What Do You Think?

Tell me your experience!